I have been a big proponent of live-in jobs ever since I took one as a paid companion for an elderly man on Park Avenue. I stayed with this man for 4 years and only left after he came down with dementia and needed more care than I could provide as a companion.
Recently I took a job working for a woman as a nanny. The offer came through Facebook and because the woman was a relative of a Facebook friend I immediately trusted her. Big Mistake!
In any case her niece by marriage saw my prayer request and said that she needed a nanny in New Orleans. That she paid $1,000 a month plus room and board. So I jumped on it since I had no other opportunities.
I arrived on February 25th 2014. The woman had 4 children, one set of twins that were 2 years old, one 6 year old and one 8 year old. The family was from Trinidad, the woman said they were Christians and we did Skype but she had a very thick accent which made it difficult to understand her. Nevertheless, I naively thought everything would be OK because they were Christians.
As soon as I arrived in Covington, Louisiana, with my bags in the car and the twins in the back, she drove to the mall. I had to get up at 2:30 in the morning to catch the flight and had only gotten 2 hours of sleep. I paid for the airplane ticket and I also paid for 8 boxes to be shipped for a total cost of $500. While at the mall she left me to walk the mall with the twins while she went to get her computer fixed. It took about 1.5 hours..maybe 2. I couldn't believe that she would leave her 2 year old twins with a complete stranger right off the bat like that. That was my first red flag.
Eventually, we get to the house and it is huge, over 5000 square feet. Apparently the children had run of the house. They regularly climbed the bar-stools, and ran around the house with food and everything. The mother, her name was Rohini Ramesar, she is married to Barry Ramesar, he works for Chevron, (I'll refer to her as Ro from now on) She proceeds to tell me that they don't eat beef, pork and that the one twin is allergic to milk, corn, cheese, fish, and seafood. I'm wondering what they eat at this point. I have a light dinner of chicken and rice and excuse myself to unpack and go to bed.
Just to go back a bit, I had asked Rohini if there was a schedule, what my hours would be and what my days off would be that very first day. Every time I asked her about it she was vague. So I asked her again..again she just wouldn't say exactly what they were. But she did say that she gets the older kids up at 6:45 and gets them ready for school so I said fine I'll be downstairs at 6:30 tomorrow. The next day I was ready at 6:30..the day lasted until 8:00 in the evening. And it was chaos, the children have no set bedtimes, no schedule and they don't eat at the table..they all just eat at anytime and apparently anywhere in the house. Towards the end of the day I again asked about days off because at this point I wanted to make sure I had set days off. She would not tell me which days I had off so I told her how about Sunday and one other day..eventually I got her to agree to Sunday and Saturday after the first week because she had plans for this Saturday and wanted me to work. So for the first week I would have Friday and Sunday off.
In the middle of the day she asked me if I needed to go to Walmart (Walmart was close by), if I needed to get anything at the store. I told her I needed a few items. She said she would take me but later in the day her husband was there so she asked me if I wanted to go with him. She said that if I did go with him that I would not be picked up for 2 hours. I told her I didn't have that much to get. I really didn't want to spend 2 hours in Walmart as I was still fatigued from the previous day. But, she repeated this several times making me think that she wanted to be alone. She also asked me to get a few items for her as well. So I went to Walmart and ended up just walking around the store and buying more stuff than I really needed. Part of my salary was to include room and board but since they didn't eat so many items that were mainstays on my diet I did pick up about $80 dollars worth of food. But the majority of the time I ended up just walking around the store.
Previously, she had mentioned that they were going to get me a car to use while there and that they would be in New Orleans until the end of the year after which they would be going to London. She said if things worked out I could go with them to London.
Earlier in that day she asked me if I WANTED TO LEASE her husband's car for $340 dollars a month! I said no!
The next day (February 27th) I got the kids ready for school and it's just me, her and the twins. She brings up the two days off and wants to change it to only one day off. I said no that isn't acceptable, especially since the days are so long. She does take the twins to a days care on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9:30 to 2:30 however during that time she wanted me to clean or iron. Then...she tells me that she has quite a few relatives that will be coming to stay and would I mind giving up my quarters...packing up and staying with a friend of hers while they are here! I told her absolutely not. I just got here, part of the deal was room and board and I wasn't going to pack up everything and go to some other persons house. I said I would leave if that was the case. Mind you, they have a 6 bedroom house, all the children have their own rooms except the twins and there is a small family room. Also, during this time the parents would be gone on a vacation so their room would be available. When I suggested using their room she said her husband wouldn't like that. So I said let me know because if that were the case I would leave.
Later that evening she comes up to my room at about 9:00 pm and tells me that plans have changed. Previously, her husband was going to go to Kazakhstan for one year and Ro would visit (which was why the relatives were coming..to help me out) and then the whole family would go to London. Now the whole family is going to Kazakhstan in 30 days!
I tell you by now I'm exhausted with the whole thing. I said that they should reimburse me for my ticket, my packages and pay for my ticket out since I exercised good faith and spent quite a bit of money to come here. She did not respond.
The next day (which was my day off) she emails me and tells me she doesn't know how to pay me for the 3 days I worked since we had agreed on $1,000 a month and this was not a full week. So I said she could pay me hourly at minimum wage which I thought was very generous considering she has 4 small Children! I sent her an hourly email of what I did and the hours I worked and then multiplied it by $7.25. After she received that email she said that I was fired because I had changed the conditions of my employment to an hourly wage rather than a monthly sum of $1,000!!!!
I was in full upset mode at this point. I was so upset I didn't know if I was coming or going. I was angry, crying and bewildered all at the same time. Also, and I know this might sound weird but I had already bonded with the kids. It wasn't their fault their parents were so crazy. Another thing I found out is that Ro and her husband were followers of Joel Olstein..a preacher who I think is apostate so that was a sign as well.
After spending hours on the phone with the post office to try and reroute my boxes that were arriving on Monday I went downstairs and told them that I was successful at rerouting them. However, I told them that I was very disappointed in them and I listed everything that I have told you about..how I spent actually over $500 because I had to get food since the food they ate didn't include fish, eggs, yogurt, cheese or milk. I was crying because I was so upset with my treatment by them and told them so. I think they felt ashamed, at least I would like to think so, however, the father just walked away while I was talking (what a wuss!). After I had chided them and listed all the things they had done in just 3 days they were nicer and I thought maybe the worse was over. She purchased my ticket to Akron and I would be leaving on Friday. At this point I didn't care..after my expenses and what I will make at minimum wage I would only be at a $140 dollar loss. So, I figured I'll let the Lord handle them.
Now, just to let you know a small miracle happened during this time. For some reason I was notified on my phone that there was a Calvary Chapel in New Orleans. I never googled it or looked for one but I was sent a notification about it on my phone. So, I contacted them the second day and asked if there was a service close by or if someone from this area attended and I could catch a ride with them. A woman called me and hooked me up with another woman who lived in this same gated community! She asked me if I wanted to have dinner with her, the pastor's wife and one other woman. I said yes. So after all this happened on Friday night I had dinner with these wonderful women and Betty (the original woman who asked me) even paid for my dinner. What a blessing that was!
I then told Rohini that if she wanted me to work until Friday I would (at minimum wage). I figured I could try and make a little money since I would be just waiting around anyway. And, like I said, I did like the kids. So she drew up a schedule and I naively thought that everything would be alright.
I babysat the kids on Saturday night for 3 hours. For some reason they had another woman come in and watch them for the remaining 5 hours that they were gone. During the time I babysat the kids I also did some housework. It was a hectic 3 hours. The next day I had off. On Monday she asked me to watch the kids at 2:00 pm, the parents did not return until 10:00 pm. During that time, I made dinner, ironed clothes, folded clothes, cleaned the kitchen, living room and dining room, played with the children and then finally got them ready for bed around 9:00. I was exhausted. Running after 2 two year olds is exhausting work. Add to that another hyper 6 year old and I was ready to quit right then and there. The 8 year old actually was a help to me as she told me what the twins were trying to tell me. The children were accustomed (especially the 3 younger boys) to getting their own way.
The next night she again had me working for 9 hours this time, from 1:00 to 10:00 for a total of 20 hours so far. On this night she wanted me to fold clothes. The children were especially active and at one point one of the twin fell after climbing on a lazy boy chair. He hit his head on the hard wood floor and I was very worried he might have a concussion. I comforted him but he fell asleep right away after crying for a short while. After calling my mother I decided to call 911. I had tried calling Rohini but she did not answer my phone calls or my texts. The paramedics came and checked out the child and felt he was fine. I was terribly relieved. However, when the parents came home I told them that I would watch the children but I would not do anymore housework at the same time as it was too exhausting. Besides that, why should I knock myself out for this woman who treated me so poorly. Well, she didn't like that one bit. The next day she didn't call me down to work at all and in the evening when the parents were gone (again) (the only evening they had spent at home was Sunday that week) I noticed that another woman was there. Apparently, Rohini's sister came for a visit and was watching the kids, although she was just sitting in the chair talking on the phone when I prepared my dinner. The next day, on Thursday, I figured Ro would just have her sister babysit so I asked for my wages. She said the check was on the refrigerator. When I looked at it ..it was 3 hours short and when I said something she started screaming at me. She accused me of being on the phone the entire night when the twin fell. I told her that wasn't true and then she said that I had watched TV in the evening. I knew that wasn't true at all but I surmised that she had a nanny-cam on me and couldn't see that I was just sitting staring at the wall (mostly because I was exhausted). I told her that if she had a nanny-cam she could see that I wasn't on the phone all night. She also accused me of rocking the chair which made the child fall. I was livid. The children were the ones rocking the chair and since I saw the children climbing on the bar stools as well as on top of the counter next to the bar stools when they were with their mother I thought it would be OK for them to climb on the chair and then slide off. I told her she could see that I was right there going back and forth from the chair to the the rocking chair. I asked her if she was going to pay me. She said she would and so I said that there is nothing more to discuss. She did pay me and I retreated to my room.
There I called my aunt who used to be a nanny. She was so upset she wanted me to report her to the IRS for not paying taxes on the wages of the nannies she hired as well as report her to the labor department for all the other infractions. After I spoke with her for a few minutes there was a knock at the door. Ro came in and went to the closet, it was shortly thereafter that the internet went out. At that time she texted me repeating my conversation with my aunt. I asked her point black if she had a camera in my room? She said yes. I told her that was illegal and did not hear from her again.
At this point I had to leave. My airplane ticket was for the next day at 11:00 am. I called the friend I had met from church and told her everything that had happened. She offered to pick me up, she did. When I left I told Rohini that I was leaving, that she was the most evil woman I had ever met and that she certainly was no Christian.
Betty took me in. She took me to dinner (again), showed me a bit of Covington, Louisiana and let me stay at her home. I didn't sleep a wink all night wondering whether Rohini would cancel the ticket on me and leave me stranded in the airport. My girlfriend finally got a hold of the airlines (I had been on hold with them for 4 hours to no avail) and found out that since she booked the ticket through a third party she would not be able to cancel it. Had she booked the ticket directly she would have been able to cancel it at any time and leave me stranded in the airport. In the morning Betty took me to the airport all the while refusing any money. While I was at the airport Rohini texted me again saying that she wanted me to return the suitcase she gave me. When she gave me the suitcase she said I could have it, it was just a cheap suitcase anyway. I never answered her and blocked her number.
I wonder how many people have been through hell at the hands of a maniacal domestic employer. I wonder how many people who didn't have the wherewithal to contact someone when they were isolated and alone and were bullied, abused, and misused had to put up with a hostile work environment because they had no other option. It really opened my eyes about the domestic work situation in this country.
Post Script:
I have since been contacted by one other person who was treated in the exact same way. If you have also been a victim of the Ramesar's please write to me and let me know, maybe if there are enough of us we can do something to stop this from happening to another person.
God Bless
Recently I took a job working for a woman as a nanny. The offer came through Facebook and because the woman was a relative of a Facebook friend I immediately trusted her. Big Mistake!
In any case her niece by marriage saw my prayer request and said that she needed a nanny in New Orleans. That she paid $1,000 a month plus room and board. So I jumped on it since I had no other opportunities.
I arrived on February 25th 2014. The woman had 4 children, one set of twins that were 2 years old, one 6 year old and one 8 year old. The family was from Trinidad, the woman said they were Christians and we did Skype but she had a very thick accent which made it difficult to understand her. Nevertheless, I naively thought everything would be OK because they were Christians.
As soon as I arrived in Covington, Louisiana, with my bags in the car and the twins in the back, she drove to the mall. I had to get up at 2:30 in the morning to catch the flight and had only gotten 2 hours of sleep. I paid for the airplane ticket and I also paid for 8 boxes to be shipped for a total cost of $500. While at the mall she left me to walk the mall with the twins while she went to get her computer fixed. It took about 1.5 hours..maybe 2. I couldn't believe that she would leave her 2 year old twins with a complete stranger right off the bat like that. That was my first red flag.
Eventually, we get to the house and it is huge, over 5000 square feet. Apparently the children had run of the house. They regularly climbed the bar-stools, and ran around the house with food and everything. The mother, her name was Rohini Ramesar, she is married to Barry Ramesar, he works for Chevron, (I'll refer to her as Ro from now on) She proceeds to tell me that they don't eat beef, pork and that the one twin is allergic to milk, corn, cheese, fish, and seafood. I'm wondering what they eat at this point. I have a light dinner of chicken and rice and excuse myself to unpack and go to bed.
Just to go back a bit, I had asked Rohini if there was a schedule, what my hours would be and what my days off would be that very first day. Every time I asked her about it she was vague. So I asked her again..again she just wouldn't say exactly what they were. But she did say that she gets the older kids up at 6:45 and gets them ready for school so I said fine I'll be downstairs at 6:30 tomorrow. The next day I was ready at 6:30..the day lasted until 8:00 in the evening. And it was chaos, the children have no set bedtimes, no schedule and they don't eat at the table..they all just eat at anytime and apparently anywhere in the house. Towards the end of the day I again asked about days off because at this point I wanted to make sure I had set days off. She would not tell me which days I had off so I told her how about Sunday and one other day..eventually I got her to agree to Sunday and Saturday after the first week because she had plans for this Saturday and wanted me to work. So for the first week I would have Friday and Sunday off.
In the middle of the day she asked me if I needed to go to Walmart (Walmart was close by), if I needed to get anything at the store. I told her I needed a few items. She said she would take me but later in the day her husband was there so she asked me if I wanted to go with him. She said that if I did go with him that I would not be picked up for 2 hours. I told her I didn't have that much to get. I really didn't want to spend 2 hours in Walmart as I was still fatigued from the previous day. But, she repeated this several times making me think that she wanted to be alone. She also asked me to get a few items for her as well. So I went to Walmart and ended up just walking around the store and buying more stuff than I really needed. Part of my salary was to include room and board but since they didn't eat so many items that were mainstays on my diet I did pick up about $80 dollars worth of food. But the majority of the time I ended up just walking around the store.
Previously, she had mentioned that they were going to get me a car to use while there and that they would be in New Orleans until the end of the year after which they would be going to London. She said if things worked out I could go with them to London.
Earlier in that day she asked me if I WANTED TO LEASE her husband's car for $340 dollars a month! I said no!
The next day (February 27th) I got the kids ready for school and it's just me, her and the twins. She brings up the two days off and wants to change it to only one day off. I said no that isn't acceptable, especially since the days are so long. She does take the twins to a days care on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9:30 to 2:30 however during that time she wanted me to clean or iron. Then...she tells me that she has quite a few relatives that will be coming to stay and would I mind giving up my quarters...packing up and staying with a friend of hers while they are here! I told her absolutely not. I just got here, part of the deal was room and board and I wasn't going to pack up everything and go to some other persons house. I said I would leave if that was the case. Mind you, they have a 6 bedroom house, all the children have their own rooms except the twins and there is a small family room. Also, during this time the parents would be gone on a vacation so their room would be available. When I suggested using their room she said her husband wouldn't like that. So I said let me know because if that were the case I would leave.
Later that evening she comes up to my room at about 9:00 pm and tells me that plans have changed. Previously, her husband was going to go to Kazakhstan for one year and Ro would visit (which was why the relatives were coming..to help me out) and then the whole family would go to London. Now the whole family is going to Kazakhstan in 30 days!
I tell you by now I'm exhausted with the whole thing. I said that they should reimburse me for my ticket, my packages and pay for my ticket out since I exercised good faith and spent quite a bit of money to come here. She did not respond.
The next day (which was my day off) she emails me and tells me she doesn't know how to pay me for the 3 days I worked since we had agreed on $1,000 a month and this was not a full week. So I said she could pay me hourly at minimum wage which I thought was very generous considering she has 4 small Children! I sent her an hourly email of what I did and the hours I worked and then multiplied it by $7.25. After she received that email she said that I was fired because I had changed the conditions of my employment to an hourly wage rather than a monthly sum of $1,000!!!!
I was in full upset mode at this point. I was so upset I didn't know if I was coming or going. I was angry, crying and bewildered all at the same time. Also, and I know this might sound weird but I had already bonded with the kids. It wasn't their fault their parents were so crazy. Another thing I found out is that Ro and her husband were followers of Joel Olstein..a preacher who I think is apostate so that was a sign as well.
After spending hours on the phone with the post office to try and reroute my boxes that were arriving on Monday I went downstairs and told them that I was successful at rerouting them. However, I told them that I was very disappointed in them and I listed everything that I have told you about..how I spent actually over $500 because I had to get food since the food they ate didn't include fish, eggs, yogurt, cheese or milk. I was crying because I was so upset with my treatment by them and told them so. I think they felt ashamed, at least I would like to think so, however, the father just walked away while I was talking (what a wuss!). After I had chided them and listed all the things they had done in just 3 days they were nicer and I thought maybe the worse was over. She purchased my ticket to Akron and I would be leaving on Friday. At this point I didn't care..after my expenses and what I will make at minimum wage I would only be at a $140 dollar loss. So, I figured I'll let the Lord handle them.
Now, just to let you know a small miracle happened during this time. For some reason I was notified on my phone that there was a Calvary Chapel in New Orleans. I never googled it or looked for one but I was sent a notification about it on my phone. So, I contacted them the second day and asked if there was a service close by or if someone from this area attended and I could catch a ride with them. A woman called me and hooked me up with another woman who lived in this same gated community! She asked me if I wanted to have dinner with her, the pastor's wife and one other woman. I said yes. So after all this happened on Friday night I had dinner with these wonderful women and Betty (the original woman who asked me) even paid for my dinner. What a blessing that was!
I then told Rohini that if she wanted me to work until Friday I would (at minimum wage). I figured I could try and make a little money since I would be just waiting around anyway. And, like I said, I did like the kids. So she drew up a schedule and I naively thought that everything would be alright.
I babysat the kids on Saturday night for 3 hours. For some reason they had another woman come in and watch them for the remaining 5 hours that they were gone. During the time I babysat the kids I also did some housework. It was a hectic 3 hours. The next day I had off. On Monday she asked me to watch the kids at 2:00 pm, the parents did not return until 10:00 pm. During that time, I made dinner, ironed clothes, folded clothes, cleaned the kitchen, living room and dining room, played with the children and then finally got them ready for bed around 9:00. I was exhausted. Running after 2 two year olds is exhausting work. Add to that another hyper 6 year old and I was ready to quit right then and there. The 8 year old actually was a help to me as she told me what the twins were trying to tell me. The children were accustomed (especially the 3 younger boys) to getting their own way.
The next night she again had me working for 9 hours this time, from 1:00 to 10:00 for a total of 20 hours so far. On this night she wanted me to fold clothes. The children were especially active and at one point one of the twin fell after climbing on a lazy boy chair. He hit his head on the hard wood floor and I was very worried he might have a concussion. I comforted him but he fell asleep right away after crying for a short while. After calling my mother I decided to call 911. I had tried calling Rohini but she did not answer my phone calls or my texts. The paramedics came and checked out the child and felt he was fine. I was terribly relieved. However, when the parents came home I told them that I would watch the children but I would not do anymore housework at the same time as it was too exhausting. Besides that, why should I knock myself out for this woman who treated me so poorly. Well, she didn't like that one bit. The next day she didn't call me down to work at all and in the evening when the parents were gone (again) (the only evening they had spent at home was Sunday that week) I noticed that another woman was there. Apparently, Rohini's sister came for a visit and was watching the kids, although she was just sitting in the chair talking on the phone when I prepared my dinner. The next day, on Thursday, I figured Ro would just have her sister babysit so I asked for my wages. She said the check was on the refrigerator. When I looked at it ..it was 3 hours short and when I said something she started screaming at me. She accused me of being on the phone the entire night when the twin fell. I told her that wasn't true and then she said that I had watched TV in the evening. I knew that wasn't true at all but I surmised that she had a nanny-cam on me and couldn't see that I was just sitting staring at the wall (mostly because I was exhausted). I told her that if she had a nanny-cam she could see that I wasn't on the phone all night. She also accused me of rocking the chair which made the child fall. I was livid. The children were the ones rocking the chair and since I saw the children climbing on the bar stools as well as on top of the counter next to the bar stools when they were with their mother I thought it would be OK for them to climb on the chair and then slide off. I told her she could see that I was right there going back and forth from the chair to the the rocking chair. I asked her if she was going to pay me. She said she would and so I said that there is nothing more to discuss. She did pay me and I retreated to my room.
There I called my aunt who used to be a nanny. She was so upset she wanted me to report her to the IRS for not paying taxes on the wages of the nannies she hired as well as report her to the labor department for all the other infractions. After I spoke with her for a few minutes there was a knock at the door. Ro came in and went to the closet, it was shortly thereafter that the internet went out. At that time she texted me repeating my conversation with my aunt. I asked her point black if she had a camera in my room? She said yes. I told her that was illegal and did not hear from her again.
At this point I had to leave. My airplane ticket was for the next day at 11:00 am. I called the friend I had met from church and told her everything that had happened. She offered to pick me up, she did. When I left I told Rohini that I was leaving, that she was the most evil woman I had ever met and that she certainly was no Christian.
Betty took me in. She took me to dinner (again), showed me a bit of Covington, Louisiana and let me stay at her home. I didn't sleep a wink all night wondering whether Rohini would cancel the ticket on me and leave me stranded in the airport. My girlfriend finally got a hold of the airlines (I had been on hold with them for 4 hours to no avail) and found out that since she booked the ticket through a third party she would not be able to cancel it. Had she booked the ticket directly she would have been able to cancel it at any time and leave me stranded in the airport. In the morning Betty took me to the airport all the while refusing any money. While I was at the airport Rohini texted me again saying that she wanted me to return the suitcase she gave me. When she gave me the suitcase she said I could have it, it was just a cheap suitcase anyway. I never answered her and blocked her number.
I wonder how many people have been through hell at the hands of a maniacal domestic employer. I wonder how many people who didn't have the wherewithal to contact someone when they were isolated and alone and were bullied, abused, and misused had to put up with a hostile work environment because they had no other option. It really opened my eyes about the domestic work situation in this country.
Post Script:
I have since been contacted by one other person who was treated in the exact same way. If you have also been a victim of the Ramesar's please write to me and let me know, maybe if there are enough of us we can do something to stop this from happening to another person.
God Bless
